Sunday, November 4, 2012

4 – The Exodus of Hud, Act 3: Journey to a Brave New World


My boys love me.  Know how I know?  Because they took care of me when I needed it on this two-part exodus.  (Thanks, guys!  Come ski with me!)

Their wives love me, too, for reasons I don't really understand.  You can pick your husband, but fathers-in-law come along as a by-product.  At least both of them knew ahead of time that they'd be getting me in the bargain.  And you know what?  They married my boys anyway!  I love those women as if they were my own flesh and blood. I am not kidding.  (Come ski with me, girls!)

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The TT was stuffed to the gills.  You can imagine, since I learned to pack on a submarine and still left four big boxes in Atlanta.

Trunk was full and tight.  Leaned on the lid to get it closed.

Lowered the convertible top and packed the tonneau space so tightly the top couldn't be raised without significant unloading.

Tied a pair of lampshades to the passenger-side rollbar.

Stashed thin items behind each bucket seat. 

Packed the passenger-side footwell to the bottom of the dashboard.  Pallas might like a little walled-in area since we’d travel with the top down … and she was definitely going to make the same sacrifice I was – because the driver-side footwell had clothes packed to the bottom of my legs.

The TT was stuffed to the gills.

When I climbed in to drive away, I could tell she was sitting a little squat.  When I rounded the first corner, though, I knew she was going to handle just fine.

Which she did until some point between Greensboro and Durham when the front tires started whining a little bit.  “Oh yeah, I was gonna change those front tires a few weeks ago.”

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Why is this significant?  One Thanksgiving … our family’s annual full-tilt get-together … I was driving the same TT through rural Georgia at dusk on the Wednesday before the Thursday holiday, when I got a flat.  As I put on the doughnut spare tire, I distinctly remember saying to myself, “Oh yeah, I was gonna change those front tires a few weeks after changing the rears.”  The doughnut didn’t look really healthy either, but perhaps it would get me to Greensboro (Georgia – yeah, I know there's also one in North Carolina) where I might find a tire place.  Right.  An open tire store on the day before Thanksgiving at 7 pm in rural Georgia.  Sometimes I am so clueless.

The doughnut lasted about a mile.  Through a series of happy coincidences, a tow truck was headed my way and going to Greensboro.  No, he sure didn’t have a tire that would fit my “little sporty car with them big-old rims,” and after five minutes of conversation we both realized I was screwed. 

Then he spoke up.  “You know, I used to race a dirt track car, and I think I have a tire that will fit on your rim.”

“You would be my newest most-favorite pal; I’ll try anything marginally safe to get me to Mom and Dad’s for Thanksgiving.”

We drove down a small country road, about 2 miles off the Interstate to a corrugated steel building with the universally recognized paint-on-plywood sign saying something like “Dukes of Hazzard Garage.”

[No, Mom, at no time was I scared.  He was a decent fellow; but I was watching everything like a sailor on shore leave.]

Sure enough he had a 17-inch tire, but it was easily 25% taller than the over-priced low-profile sport tires on the other three wheels.

He rolled it over and leaned it against one of the back tires.  “It’ll be a little tall, but it’ll fit the rim just fine.”  This he had determined from checking a tire catalog, and showing me the tire dimensions.  “It ain’t new, but she’s got plenty of tread to go.  Dirt doesn’t wear ‘em out like asphalt.  I’m thinking it should go on the back.  Move one of them good back tires to the front.”

"A little tall" looked like at least five inches to me.  But it fit inside the fender, well, barely, and the catalog testified to its ability to fit the rim.  And really?  Was there any alternative?

So on went the used tire, and I think the car relished the cultural contrast as much as I did: used Southern dirt track racing tire on a well-bred German sport roadster.  A well-bred German sport roadster that was now tilting sharply from the much-too-high right rear tire.

But I digress.  That was several years ago and everything ended well, including my patronage at Cardinal Tire for four new steel-belted radials.  Happy to do it, too.  Dad went with me; the guy knew him (of course) so I got a good price; the tires went on immediately; and we were outta there in less than an hour.

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Back to the present.

I was mentioning that the front tires began to whine.  This noise I recognized, and immediately dropped my speed to 65 mph.  After the two-flat adventure in Greensboro (Georgia – we've been over this!) I had spent a good bit of time reading tire technical articles on the internet; the internet knows everything.  Turns out high-speed-rated tires make a whining noise when fast driving generates more heat than they can dissipate, and the heat buildup starts to break down the tires.  Old tires ‘scream’ at lower speeds (like 85 mph at this point in the story) because they’re already breaking down due to age and mileage.  Slowing to 65 stopped all unusual noise from the front fenders.

The internet knows everything, you just have to properly frame the question.  My longest-tenured daughter-in-law had framed a good question for the internet: where are pet-friendly hotels near the midpoint of Hud's drive?  That turned out to be in Newark (Delaware  – yeah, I know there's one in New Jersey, sheesh!) which Pallas and I found around 11 pm. 

This trip was subject to the same irritating drizzle as the last, which started around sunset.  As previously mentioned, this required a stop to unpack two or three armfuls of stuff in the tonneau space, raise the convertible top, and pack the stuff back inside; Pallas standing beside the car, in the emergency lane of I-85 under a bridge in the middle of Virginia.

The drizzle had a benefit, though:  I could drive faster than 65 mph, since the wet pavement and nightfall made the road surface a lot cooler and helped my aging tires dissipate heat.  This additional speed had to be balanced with the understanding that old tires don’t have lots of remaining tread and are prone to hydroplaning at higher speeds.

We pulled into the raggediest hotel I’ve stayed in since I got out of the Navy.  No wonder it was pet friendly!  I was hungry, so we wandered around, found a Taco Bell, and took our bean burritos to a parking lot next door to the hotel: the parking lot for Tubby Raymond Field at Delaware Stadium, home of the University of Delaware Blue Hens.  (As of this writing, they are 5-4, having lost the last two to Top-20 teams, placing them in the middle of the Colonial Conference table; same conference as Georgia State.)  Capacity of 22,000, with more available seating for their headline sport of lacrosse.  Interesting counterpoint to gigantic Southern football stadiums that seat 75,000 to 80,000.

Drove on the New Jersey Turnpike, minor goal for a traffic geek, but constantly wondered about entrances and exits to Express Lanes, with no indication if you’d miss an exit or obligate yourself to electronic tolls if you entered.  For the record, the answers are “No,” and “No.”  The electronic toll answer may be different when the unidentified 50-mile construction project is complete.  Passed Rutgers and wished they were joining the ACC next season instead of Pittsburgh.

Pallas Athena finds New Jersey quite useful

By the way, it is illegal for one to fuel their own car in New Jersey.  Yep, there are guys hanging out to do the full service thing, except it isn’t really full service.  If you want your windshield cleaned and your oil checked, you do that yourself.  They just pump gas.  Guess the typical Jersey Girl can’t figure out how to operate the complicated gas pump handle.

The main emphasis for this trip is the iconic Brooklyn Bridge.  I wanted to drive across it so badly that I was willing to add an hour or longer to my journey.  It’s an attitude developed during my Navy years at Pearl Harbor: “Hud, when is the next time you will be here?  Then get out and do everything you can, because this opportunity may never return.

You must drive across the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in order to get to the Brooklyn Bridge.  Kinda cool to hit those two significant civil engineering projects at the same time.  An amazing number of potholes; Pallas objected by rising and re-settling often, but I chose to ignore this evidence of our nation’s penchant to ‘defer’ needed maintenance on physical infrastructure.  As a civil engineer, I am appalled, but take the attitude of “You can pay me now, or you can pay me later.”


Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge
(jiggles due to potholes,
piano jazz due to NYC public radio)

Found my way onto Park Avenue, and cruised up the Lower East Side.  Ran directly up to Grand Central Station, and whipped around it close enough to touch the statue of Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt.  A nice drive beyond it, on a cloudy Sunday morning, along the landscaped boulevard bordered by tidy, tony, tasteful, and astronomically expensive residential buildings with their tidy, tony, tasteful residents walking in the early morning with their tidy, tony, tasteful dogs and their tidy, tony, tasteful kids.

Continued the tony tour past New Rochelle, White Plains, Westchester, and Danbury.  A dramatic change in scenery from the Lower and Upper East Sides, while not changing much in demographic.  A sociology lesson on wheels, if you will.

The Brooklyn and Verrazano Narrows Bridges were toll-free if traveling in my direction, but I had already shelled out about $30 in tolls, including a piece of the PA Turnpike through the sketchy part of downtown Philadelphia, a bunch of the NJ Turnpike, a couple of miscellaneous bridges, and $3.50 for about a half-mile in Delaware; $30 cash for a total distance of only 120 miles.  I was getting a bit worried, since I hadn’t counted on the steep cost of cash-only tolls.  I’ve been to toll plazas before with an inadequate amount of cash – it’s rather embarrassing – and did not wish to repeat the experience.

This became a bit more of a concern as I headed towards the last link of the trip: the Massachusetts Turnpike.  (Mass Pike to locals, not “THE” Mass Pike.)  Pallas and I stopped at a McDonald’s just north of Hartford, a picnic in gorgeous sunshine on a very pleasant grassy area at the back edge of the shopping center parking lot.  I unsuccessfully tried to divine the remaining tolls I’d have to pay for 65 miles of Mass Pike by staring at the road map.  I had about $12 cash remaining, including the quarters given in change at previous toll booths.

I ruminated on all this while unpacking the car, lowering the roof to better enjoy the sun, and repacking.  My scattered-personal-effects activity seriously impressed a number of other good citizens using the parking lot, but they must have decided against calling the sheriff.

“Twelve bucks should be enough,” I stated confidently to Miss Pallas.  “Cost us about $30 to go a long way, under jurisdiction of several toll authorities.  What do you think?”

Her response to this question was an enigmatic expression that I interpreted as, “Did you eat all the fries?

So we finished up Connecticut on I-84, and joined Mass Pike/I-90 near Sturbridge.

Mass Pike uses new-school EZ-Pass electronic toll tags in metro Boston, and old-school paper tickets elsewhere.  When you get on, you’re issued a ticket.  Specific tickets are printed for each entrance, and the cost of travel to all the other toll plazas is printed on the back.  When you get off, the toll collector knows where you got on (the specially-printed ticket, duh!), knows where you got off (here, duh!), and finds out how much you owe by checking the fare table on the back of the ticket.

I asked the young man in the booth how much it would cost to drive all the way to Boston.  “One twenty five,” he said.

My lightning-quick mind compared 120 miles and $30.00 for the morning versus 60 miles and $125.00 to Boston.  I took a quick second of pause, and said, “You mean one dollar and 25 cents?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s the best deal I’ve gotten all day!  Thanks!”  The TT roared away, as best it could with 500 pounds of human, dog, and miscellaneous household goods aboard.

Mass Pike was a gorgeous ride.  Listened to a play-by-play of Boston University soccer versus UNC for a while as we cruised through beautiful mountains.  Traffic was miserable, however, and completely unexpected.

Why were all these people driving towards Boston on Sunday?  Shouldn’t they be traveling tomorrow, Labor Day? 

I got no answer from Pallas, this time her sleepy expression said, “It's a useless question with an irrelevant answer; the traffic is here, doesn't matter why, just deal with it.  I'm going to take a nap.”

You could tell when we got close to Boston, because the pothole quotient started rising.  That and the “miles to Boston” signs showed successively smaller numbers.

Paid my $1.25 at the Weston Toll Plaza and immediately entered a highway gulch similar to Atlanta’s Downtown Connector – vertical retaining walls on both sides of the highway.  This section of Mass Pike is about 20 feet below grade, about two stories.  It intertwines with commuter train tracks with overhead electric lines.  Very Urban Vibe Going On Here.

Too much attention on driving and too little on sightseeing for details.  We flew by Fenway Park and the Green Monstah, and entered a branch of the Big Dig, formally named the Central Artery Tunnel Project.  About the time I figured out what was going on, we took the exit to I-93 Northbound, still underground, changing lanes furiously to make the exit and then to avoid an exit-only less than a half-mile downstream.

We found our way to the house, and prepared for three weeks of an empty apartment: a sleeping bag, backpacking mattress, no cooking tools, and very little that was familiar.

“The best laid plans often go awry.”  Whatever.  Pallas and I were home, even though it didn’t remotely feel like it.


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